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This article, Be Prepared (King Charming cover), is the creative property of GokaiWhite.

Be Prepared Shrek Edition

Be Prepared Shrek Edition

Premise

After receiving word of Sora's return to the mortal realm[1] and the death of Tyrannus DracoRex, Prince Charming rallies a group of Disney Villains(who have yet to be in any official Kingdom Hearts material) hiding out at another Poison Apple location so they can seize control of Disney Castle and start a war on Sora and friends.

Subtext[2]

Charming sells the patrons on the promise of a return to "less politically correct times"(to which there is a small irony in "PC" also standing for "Prince Charming") and their goals being fulfilled.

Singers

Primary

  • Prince Charming (a la Scar)

Secondary

Poison Apple patrons

Disney Villain Origin
The Coachman Pinocchio (1940)
"Honest" John Pinocchio (1940)
"Giddy" Gideon Pinocchio (1940)
Mr. Winky The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)
The Headless Horseman The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949)
Captain Hook Peter Pan (1953)
The Siamese Twins Lady and the Tramp (1955)
Cruella De Vil 101 Dalmatians (1961)
Madame Mim The Sword in the Stone (1963)
Kaa The Jungle Book (1967)
King Louie The Jungle Book (1967)
Shere Khan The Jungle Book (1967)
Edgar Balthasar The Aristocats (1970)
Prince John Robin Hood (1973)
Sir Hiss Robin Hood (1973)
The Sheriff Robin Hood (1973)
Madame Medusa The Rescuers (1977)
Mr. Snoops The Rescuers (1977)
Amos Slade The Fox and the Hound (1981)
Horned King The Black Cauldron (1985)
Creeper The Black Cauldron (1985)
Professor Ratigan The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
Bill Sykes Oliver and Company (1988)
DeSoto the Doberman Oliver and Company (1988)
Roscoe the Doberman Oliver and Company (1988)
Judge Doom (non-speaking cameo) Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988)
Percival C. McLeach The Rescuers Down Under (1990)
Joanna the Goanna The Rescuers Down Under (1990)
Governer Ratcliffe Pochahontas (1995)
Grigori Rasputin (non-speaking cameo) Anastasia (1997)
Yzma The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
Lyle T. Rourke Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
Scroop Treasure Planet (2002)
Queen Narissa Enchanted (2007)
Dr. Facilier The Princess and the Frog (2009)
Bellweather Zootopia (2016)

Lyrics

Prince Charming[3] Original[4]
I never thought their kind essential;

They art crude, and unspeakably plain.

But mayhap they've a glimmer of potential,

If allied to my vision and brain!

I never thought hyenas essential;

They're crude, and unspeakably plain.

But maybe they've a glimmer of potential,

If allied to my vision and brain!

I know thine own powers of retention

Are as wet as a donkey's backside!

But thick as thou art, payeth attention;

My words beith a matter of pride!

I know that your powers of retention

Are as wet as a warthog's backside!

But thick as you are, pay attention;

My words are a matter of pride!

'Tis clear from thine vacant expressions

The lights are not all on upstairs.

But we talketh kings and successions;

Even ye can't be caught unawares!

It's clear from your vacant expressions

The lights are not all on upstairs.

But we're talking kings and successions;

Even you can't be caught unawares!

So prepareth for the chance of a lifetime!

Be prepared for sensational news!

A shining new era is galloping nearer!

(And where do we feature?)

Just listen to teacher:

So prepare for the chance of a lifetime!

Be prepared for sensational news!

A shining new era is tiptoeing nearer!

(And where do we feature?)

Just listen to teacher:

I know it sounds morbid,

But you'll be rewarded,

When at last I am given my dues

And not one of our enemies spared!

Be Prepared!

I know it sounds sordid,

But you'll be rewarded,

When at last I am given my dues

And injustice deliciously squared!

Be Prepared!

*Intermission*:

(Yeah, be prepared!)

(We'll be prepared... for what?)

For the death of the king![5]

(Why, is 'e sick?)

No fool, we're gonna kill him, and Sora/Shrek too!

(Great idea! 'o needs a king?)

(No king, no king, lalalalalala!)

IDIOTS, there will be a king!

(Oi, but you said-)

I will be king! Stick with me, and ye shan't be hounded again!

(Yea, long live the king)

(LONG LIVE THE KING! LONG LIVE THE KING!)

*Intermission*:

(Yeah, be prepared!)

(We'll be prepared... for what?)

For the death of the king!

(Why, is he sick?)

No fool, we're gonna kill him, and Simba too!

(Great idea! Who needs a king?)

(No king, no king, lalalalalala!)

IDIOTS, there will be a king!

(Hey, but you said-)

I will be king! Stick with me, and you'll never go hungry again!

(Yeah, long live the king)

(LONG LIVE THE KING! LONG LIVE THE KING!)

(Tis great that we'll soon be connected,

With a king who'll be all time adored!)

Of course, quid pro quo, thou art expected,

To taketh certain duties on board.

(It's great that we'll soon be connected,

With a king who'll be all time adored!)

Of course, quid pro quo, you're expected,

To take certain duties on board.

The future is littered with prizes,

And though I'm the main addressee,

The point that I must emphasize is,

YOU'LL NOT GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME!

The future is littered with prizes,

And though I'm the main addressee,

The point that I must emphasize is,

YOU WON'T GET A SNIFF WITHOUT ME!

So prepareth for the coup of the century!

Be prepared for the most vicious scam!

Meticulous planning,

Tenacity spanning

Decades of denial

Is simply why I'll

So prepare for the coup of the century!

Be prepared for the murkiest scam!

Meticulous planning,

Tenacity spanning

Decades of denial

Is simply why I'll

Beith king undisputed,

Respected, saluted,

And seen for the glory I am!

Yes my blade and ambitions are bared!

Be Prepared!

(Yes our teeth and ambitions are bared!)

Be Prepared!!

Be king undisputed,

Respected, saluted,

And seen for the wonder I am!

Yes my teeth and ambitions are bared!

Be Prepared!

(Yes our teeth and ambitions are bared!)

Be Prepared!!

Additional Lyrics[6]
That idiot[7] is yesterday's message;

His misguided and outdated dream,

And failings undoubtedly presage

The need for a new kind of regime

'Tis obvious the times are a-changing,

Which means that our methods must, too!

My vision is ever wide-ranging,

And even encompasses you!

Mufasa is yesterday's message;

A clamped out, distracted regime,

Whose failings undoubtedly presage

The need for a different dream!

Yes, leonine times are a-changing,

Which means that hyenas must, too!

My vision is clear and wide-ranging,

And even encompasses you!

  1. Sometime before or during the forthcoming Kingdom Hearts 4.
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQUCAASiV6o
  3. https://shrek.fandom.com/wiki/Prince_Charming
  4. Scar
  5. Can refer to King Mickey or Artie
  6. From the revised lyrics in the 2019 remake of The Lion King
  7. Can refer to King Mickey or Sora
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