Tales of Kingdom Hearts/Episode 1/Transcript

NOTE: This is a transcript for Episode 1 of Tales of Kingdom Hearts.

Axel (voice over):  Mission: Protect the Princess!

Xemnas: No. 8, No. 13, No. 11 and No. 14!

Axel, Roxas, Marluxia & Xion: Yes, Sir?

Xemnas: I will send you to a Mission: Protect a Princess!

Axel, Roxas & Marluxia:  Yes, Sir!

Xion:  I refuse, Sir! You almost killed me for *panting* that!

Xemnas:  You-! As punishment, i will... turn you into a flying squirrel!

[OPENING: DT Suteru]

Xemnas:  You-! As punishment, i will... turn you into a flying squirrel!

 [Xemnas turns Xion into a flying squirrel] 

Xion (Flying Squirrel): Krrr... (Translation: I'm sorry superior...)

Marluxia:  [Female voice]  That doesn't sound like a flying squirrel.

 [Axel melts and says "OH MY G!"] 

Axel: Marly is a girl! Marly is a girl! MARLY IS A GIRL!!

Marluxia: I am not! I just have a female voice in special occasions.

Axel: Oh.

Roxas: Why did you believe? He, i mean She is Lying!

Marluxia: Ugh!!

 [At the palace, a girl is screaming in fear] 

Marluxia:  [Female voice]  We will save you, girl!

Axel: I want to go home. This is boring...

Xion: Krrr... (Translation: Not as boring as being a flying squirrel...)

Axel: I don't speak squirrelese.

Xion: Krrr! (Translation: Hmph!)

Riku: I got you, now!

 [Axel jumps on Riku] 

Girl: Thank you, Mister. And also the woman for the speech.

Roxas: She called Marly are woman... that is FUNNY!

Marluxia: GRAH!

Girl: By the way, My name is Emilia.

 [At a restaurant, Axel starts complaining] 

Axel: I don't like my job! I like to pick my job!! Mine!!!

'' [Everyone stares at him]

Marluxia: We rescued the girl, now we rescue the princess!

Emilia:  [Slaps Axel]  What did you say, Axel?! I am the princess and you do what i say!

Marluxia: Wait... you're the  [Female voice]  Princess?

Emilia: Of course, Ms. Marluxia.

Marluxia: Stop, please Princess Emilia!

 [The Sora base] 

Sora: Riku, i will avenge you.

Kairi: Drama Time!

 [At the restaurant] 

Emilia: I was too not careful on th-!

Axel: "Th"? The HTML?, well it has H and T but not a M and an L I shall help Princess Emilia with her quest... on spelling Emilia:  [Punches Axel]  I know how to spell, stupid!

 [Sora arrives] 

Sora: Guess who's here!

Axel: Hmmm... The- ''' [Emilia jumps on him] OWWW!!! World War III!

 [Marluxia and Roxas look scared] 

Emilia: The Keyblade's chosen one, Sora!

Axel: Owww!!!

Emilia: Oh! Sorry.

Axel: Okay... *sigh* HAAA!!!!!  [Axel kicks Sora on the groin]  YAHHH!!!!

Sora: OW...OWW.... OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY G!

 [Sora flees] 

Xion: Krrr... (Trnaslation: I wish there was some magic device.)

Axel: Still can't speak Squirrelese.

Emilia:  [Kicks Axel on the face]  Of course you can't!!

 [View of the Town] 

Axel: Please! NOT ME! OWie!

 [ENDING: Jellyfish no Kokuhoku]